Last week I took some time off work and took the family on a vacation. Did I successfully go off the grid and not check email? Well, no. More to come on this next week as I will take a dive into how easy one can become a "workaholic" these days. But today I want to get personal. Given the space and time of getting away, I took some time last week to observe and reflect as my wife and I stampeded through Walt Disney World with our two boys. In this context, I was reminded of 4 life-lessons:
1) Intentionally schedule time away with family
A year ago, I would have laughed at myself for writing this down. But I have come to realize that if I don't schedule vacations on my outlook calendar they will not happen. The next opportunity, important meeting, or project will take precedence and the vacation will be delayed or never scheduled to begin with. With regards to money, one can tell what I value by looking at my bank statements. If I truly value my church, for example, wouldn't there be ample evidence in my bank statements? Likewise, if I really value my wife and kids, shouldn't there some evidence in my outlook calendar? This may sound too elementary, but I believe I have to be strategic in scheduling, yes scheduling, time with them outside of just the weekends.
Sarah and I decided long ago that we would invest in our marriage through the taking of vacations together. Traveling together not only feeds us, but also improves our relationship. When we became parents, we made the same decision with the kids. These vacations do not need to be as extravagant as a week at Walt Disney World, the point is that they need to be something out of our usual routine and allow us to spend uninterrupted time together. Last week reminded me how critical this is to building lifelong relationships with Sarah and the boys. In fact, the next vacation is already scheduled on my outlook calendar!
2) Protect My Children's Innocence
Time for confession, I wouldn't have picked Walt Disney World as our vacation spot. I would have been on a golf course in Palm Desert. That said "The most magical place on earth" has a way of inspiring all of us, including me! Seeing the awe in our two year old's eyes as he gazed at animals at Animal Kingdom, or the indescribable smile of our four year old as we rode Dumbo, was joy beyond words. The two of them could not be happier and their happiness often extended far into the evening back at our hotel where they would play and re-enact some of what they had seen on that day's adventures. It was during these moments, when the two of them were so happy and joyful, that I felt the urge to turn on CNN so they could hear about I.S.I.S.'s latest and get caught up on the latest political news. I mean, I know we are at Disney World and all, but the world is nasty out there and they need to be prepared.
Of course I would never do such a thing! It would have been wrong on so many levels. The lesson that I contemplated here was that one of my main jobs as their dad is to protect their innocence. If you are like me, your childhood went quicker than you could have ever imagined at the time. I can't remember the point where the realities, complexities, and struggles of the world became apparent, but at some point in my childhood (teenage years?) they did. It is hard to argue with the notion that the world is messed up and tough to navigate. So as a father of two young children, I need to both prepare them for the future while letting them indulge in their childhood innocence. The last thing I want them to do is lose their innocence too early. After all, they have their entire lives to get stressed out about the markets and the news…
3) Encourage Creativity!
Disney may be Mecca with regards to creativity. It is easy to be inspired as you walk around any of the parks and see the latest technology being displayed. As we walked around I thought again about the world, its struggles, and life as a child. Like their innocence, I don't want to rob my children of their creativity and imagination. When my four year old is running around pretending to be Fireman Sam (note: non Disney character! Is that allowed on the premises?), I want to encourage that activity. Innovation may be the buzz word of our current business era, but regardless, I want to raise kids whose minds think differently and are capable of imagining solutions to various problems. I want them to challenge their dad to think bigger, think better, and think it is possible. This all begins with encouraging their creativity.
4) Pursue loving others, not "stuff"
Disney World is a wonderfully fun place, so please don't read what I am about to say with any tone of judgment. I was just reminded last week how abundantly we, Americans, live. The tipping point came at an "all you can eat" Character breakfast where plate after plate of food was being served. Over the course of our meal two things struck me. First, it struck me how much food placed in front of us was going to be thrown out as our family of four had no shot at finishing the large skillet we were served. The second thought that struck me was how little I do to help the poor with regards to food shortages. This is, after all, a solvable problem. Both thoughts made me a little disgusted with myself. I have to be honest that I have yet to find what I am tangibly going to do about this disgust, but I wanted to make note of it here because my values are such that I need to act.
At this point you are probably glad you don't travel with me as I am coming off as vacation "joy kill," so let me assure you that I didn't share any of this with my family at the time. After all, I don't want to break rule number 2 above. But I did have a talk with Sarah when I got home. She made a good point that many Americans don't know where to begin when we think about food shortages. Not only do I think she is correct in her analysis, I am also one of those people. While I passionately give to certain organizations (Samaritan's Purse is a personal favorite), does my level of giving have any impact? It looks like I have some homework to do…
Furthermore, while overeating may not be my personal struggle, I need to point out before leaving this point that I am no different than the average American with regards to desiring "more stuff." Disney is an elaborate, and in many cases, luxurious, place. For me, and I can only speak for me, it presented many reminders that the pursuit of stuff is really vain in the end. To the extent that I can redirect myself to helping (loving!) others, will I find the happiness that my heart truly desires.
Final Word
I said I was going to get personal this week and I obviously did. The four lessons I learned last week are lessons, meaning I am still learning them and have by no means mastered them. While I certainly don't expect every reader to agree with all my thoughts, I do want to challenge you to look around and make similar observations on your next family vacation. By the way, time to get that vacation on the outlook calendar before another year goes by!
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